I cry now – sue me.

Well I cry now. I was just getting ready to blog about it when what do you know Tiff decided to tell the world about it first. Cool. I sort-of feel like I deserve it. I have been waiting. I mean I did have a crush on her boyfriend for a year or so and I thought I was about time to "get mine," as they say. Note that I never actually “took him from her” we all know that this was never an option and I did confess my feelings for him to her over ice cream. I have been wondering what my payback would be, I guess maybe this is it. I mean a year-long crush on her serious boyfriend verses unsolicited exposure via an unauthorized blog post, fair, I will take it.

Anyway back in the day (pre-summer 2007, pre-my head smacking into a truck at small-town rodeo) I almost always kept it together. You didn’t seeing me crying in movies, crying when a cop pulled me over (okay that did happen once shortly before a somewhat embarrassing incident at the Target parking lot) or crying over TV shows like Little People, Big World or crying over the pretty snow or a compliment from a old lady or homeless people or single men over 45 or babies or boyfriends or fruit stands. But now I cry about all of these things and much more. And I really cry. I am talking about tears down my face, down my neck sometimes getting the collar of my shirt a little damp. I even bought those little mini packets of tissues to keep with me. At first I told people I bought them because they were mini and I am in love with mini things but let’s be honest I bought them because I needed them. I needed them in a bad way.

The most embarrassing part of this new me, is that a large majority of my crying seems to happen while I am working 9 to 5 down to the office. I am getting all choked up in meetings and I am crying at my desk when I hear something touching. I am crying in the break room in front of large groups of people. People at work don’t know how to react to this. Even my dear friends don’t know what to do with me. That is why every time I start crying and I get these “What in the hell...” looks and the only thing I can come up with is “I cry now.” I am not sure what else to say.

The worst part is that when I am tired it is a double wammy. I cry over anything and everything. And I am still trying to come to grips with how to handle this.

Listen I got problems and I know it.

But all in all I kind of like this new sensitive me.
Are there benefits? You bet.
Do I milk the tears once in a while to get what I want? Yes Sir I do.
Is it worth the awkward interactions? Sure.
So this is the new me, I cry now.
Take it or leave it.